Self-With-Others
Beyond the Isolated Self is the Interconnected Self.
Self-With-Others is a framework of thinking and action to help you rediscover interconnection. It’s a 360° reboot for how you live, connect and contribute. A blueprint for thriving in an interconnected world.
We’re not separate from nature, we’re part of nature.
We’re not isolated individuals, we live in a web of relationships.
We’re born in connection, and thrive in connection.
Self-With-Others is a training in connection.
Each of us is a network; of internal relationships – between body and mind, emotion and reason, memory and imagination – and external relationships
with family, colleagues, community, environment, culture. And our inner and outer lives are richly inter-related.
Connection. Interconnection.
Self-With-Others is a training in relationship. A training in alignment.
Most personal development work gives you tools to change your inner
landscape. Most professional development teaches strategies for altering your
outer world. Self-with-Others does both, because the inner and outer can’t be
usefully separated.
To be internally healthy, we need to operate in ways, and inside environments, that support our inner thriving. To thrive in the world we need to be self-aware,
mindful, healthy and at peace with ourselves. To be in alignment we need to nurture the ways in which our inner and outer worlds meet. And connect.
Self-With-Others works across three ‘domains’.
- The Inner Domain – What’s going on inside your body and mind (Inner Work).
- The Outer Domain – The environments and systems you’re operating in and how they effect what you experience (Systems Work).
- The Domain of Connectivity – The quality of your connections – internally, externally and between the two (Connections Work).
In each of these three domains we go through a 7-step process of
asking questions:
- SEEING – ‘What story am I telling myself?’
- STOPPING – ‘What could I do less of?’
- FLOWING – ‘What challenges hold my attention/fascinate me?’
- PLAYING – ‘How else might I do this?’
- BEING – ‘What feels out of alignment?’
- ENJOYING – ‘What makes me want to do this?’
- CONNECTING – ‘What networks am I part of?’
We start from seeing the stories. Self-With-Others offers tools to rewrite our individual and shared stories from the ground up.
Whatever stage of life you’re at, Self-With-Others invites you to step
back, pause and see the world through fresh eyes. It invites you to see the interconnections, take care of the relationships, and cultivate alignment – within yourself and with the worlds you live in.
Self-With-Others is a way of developing inner strength and outward connectedness – an invitation to leave behind all the habits and attitudes that separate you from life, and to align with the awe and joy of being here, now.
It’s about alignment, efficiency, generosity, compassion, sustainability and wonder.
Most of all it’s about rediscovering what it is to be fully human. Not a
human at war with the world, but a human at peace in the world.
There are pages on this site dedicated to Self-With-Others for Educators, Self-With-Others for Personal and Professional Development, Self-With-Others for Business & Community Development & Self-With-Others for Performers.
There are also resources for those who want to explore Self-With-Others through books and courses.
Presence is the foundation
Self-With-Others focuses on understanding how to connect with NOW.
You have agency only in the present moment. Being aware and open to NOW (presence) is the foundation of creativity, empowerment and effectiveness.
Enhancing presence builds multiple personal and interpersonal attributes, including:
- confidence
- communication skills
- connectedness
- creativity
- compassion.
Self-With-Others retrains our ability to be more fully, powerfully and mindfully present with yourself and others. It’s an empowering suite of techniques and insights which transform and realign your experience of your life.
The heart of developing presence in Self-With-Others are The 8 Principles of Presence.
Though developed from long, practical research into the training of physical performers, Self-With-Others offers a framework for personal and collective growth in all area of professional or personal life.
Among the core qualities it has been observed to develop are:
Openness:
Mental Discipline;
Charisma
; Compassion
; Curiosity;
Kindness
; Acceptance/Tolerance
; Wonder;
Easefulness;
Enthusiasm
; Motivation;
Optimism
; Empowerment;
Relational Sensitivity;
Personal Attunement;
Creativity;
Presence
; Attention to Detail;
Mindful Awareness
; Connectedness;
Self-confidence;
Resilience;
Self-awareness;
Collaboration within Diversity;
Self-motivation;
Reflective and Learning Skills.
